Things to do when you’re bored

Things to do when you’re bored:

Things to do when you’re bored:

• Stand outside a nursing home as the Grim Reaper

• Wait around corners and scare random people

• Sign up for informational meetings and when you get there say ‘gosh darned it I thought this was about where to get drugs’ and then leave

• Go out and adopt fifty puppies

• Go to the park, get no higher than five feet, jump and scream ‘I can fly!’

• Travel to Area 51, and tell them a green alien looking thingy traveled out about an hour ago

• Make something, give it to someone, and then five minutes later scream at them to ‘give it back’

• Get a lemonade stand, give out free samples, then write on a clip board while saying aloud that they couldn’t taste the roofies

• Run into a store, ask what year it is, and when they tell you run out screaming ‘it worked!’

• Start dancing at a public place, then get mad whenever someone looks at you

• Go into an office building, wait in someone’s office, then when someone comes in say ‘I’ve been expecting you’ and claim you own the building.

• Steal someone’s phone, then replace all the numbers with fast food restaurants

• Name your dog ‘Dog’ and your cat ‘Cat’

• Buy a pet rock and ask why no one else does

• Write your own list of things to do when you’re bored.

• Go to the zoo. When you leave shout ‘run for your lives, they’ve escaped!’ while running as fast as you can.

• Go to any electronic store, change all the laptop desktops to the blue screen of death

• Change the ink cartridge to an empty one

• Go out naked, when people say something irritably say that you are wearing clothes, and that their one’s who are naked.

• Get three animals, write the #1 one the first one, #2 on the second one, and #4 on the third one. Release in a closed building and watch everyone go crazy for the third animal.


Lost Things

There is a place. A peculiar place. Where lost things go. Things that weren’t supposed to survive. Things that were misplaced, things that are filled with washed up magic.  Things that are left out in the rain, left alone and cold. Things that no longer have a place in the world. Things that are alone and gone. Things that people no longer care about. Things that are forgotten in a restaurant. Things that need some place to go.

The place beckons them. Calls them. Instructs them. It sings it’s sweet melody in the hopes of new residents. Those things. Those lost things. They listen to the call.  They are drawn to it. To the place. The place welcomes them, bringing them in with warm, caring arms. The place engulfs them. It tells them to forget.


Forget the neglect.

Forget the rain.

Forget the cold.

Forget the loneliness.

Forget the forgetfulness.

Forget the pain.

Forget the hurt.

And welcome the new. The new place. The new place as it beckons for them. And the lost things do. They forget. They embrace the new. And then the place is happy.

Because it has new things to kill.