Being alone

Everyone feels alone at some point in their life, whether they want to admit it or not. It feels hollow but painful. The feeling comes from the same place as happiness and sadness, but why does being alone feel this way?


It’s because the pain from being sad makes itself present, and the happiness that you had felt re-emerges from the slumber it was in. You can be the happiest person you know and feel completely alone…or you can be the saddest and be alone, either way, from happiness to sadness, everyone feels that dark, aching pain that they can’t explain. “Why does it hurt? Why does it feel like that? Why do I feel this way?” are questions you ask yourself when you feel the deep feeling in your chest.

When you are alone, you think of your mistakes, and you see them being worse than they were; and you feel worse than you did the first time. I know that. I have relived my past mistakes over and over and I regretted every moment. But I can’t change it. I have to live with the facts that I was angry, depressed, short-tempered and alone. People tried to reach out to me, but I ended up pushing them away, at least I think I did…

But this isn’t about me, it’s about all of the people who feel alone and distanced from the world.

But, those people. You, please, I know the feeling will make you cry, I know you will feel yourself crumbling slowly, but don’t hurt yourself for it. People will come to help you. That one person who asks how you are that one day, he/she probably knows your pain and wants to help you. You are never alone. Teachers, your parents, whether they seem to never care or not, your classmates, they care. I have felt like I had friends ever since I went into high school. And I could never ask for better friends. I will be your friend. I want to help people who feel the same pain as I have had to for the 17 years of being alive.

So, please. If you feel this feeling of being completely alone, and you don’t know where to go, just know that being alone may be a safe place, but it also can be the most painful one of all.


Sleepless Mind

When I close my eyes

I see black and all the colors

Moving round just as clouds do

I paint pictures on the lids

Of my eyes just like a grid

They turn to places people and things

And soon they turn into dreams

My thoughts go quiet

My mind go’s calm

Then I lay silent

As they speak to me my soul

Shapes are in all my mind

And now I find I’m fast asleep

No more sleepless nights

No more endless racing

No more worries

No more cares

I found my center

I lost my fear

Now it’s off to bed

For this worried mind

And all I have now

Is a peaceful night



Lost Things

There is a place. A peculiar place. Where lost things go. Things that weren’t supposed to survive. Things that were misplaced, things that are filled with washed up magic.  Things that are left out in the rain, left alone and cold. Things that no longer have a place in the world. Things that are alone and gone. Things that people no longer care about. Things that are forgotten in a restaurant. Things that need some place to go.

The place beckons them. Calls them. Instructs them. It sings it’s sweet melody in the hopes of new residents. Those things. Those lost things. They listen to the call.  They are drawn to it. To the place. The place welcomes them, bringing them in with warm, caring arms. The place engulfs them. It tells them to forget.


Forget the neglect.

Forget the rain.

Forget the cold.

Forget the loneliness.

Forget the forgetfulness.

Forget the pain.

Forget the hurt.

And welcome the new. The new place. The new place as it beckons for them. And the lost things do. They forget. They embrace the new. And then the place is happy.

Because it has new things to kill.

Cursed Heart

I carved an X into my heart
I wished to never fall in love again.
Over and over, I wished it.
I cursed myself
Now I fear I’ve lost my heart.
I don’t want to fall out of love.
What’s happening to me?
What have I done?