happiness

One Moment

It was one moment to show love.
It was one moment to change a life.
It was one moment to impact someone.
It was one moment to give them hope for a better future.
It was one moment to make them smile.
It was one moment to encourage them.
It was one moment to hold their hand.
It was one moment to hold them.
It was one moment to give them memories of happiness.
It was one moment that they would never forget.
But it was that one moment,
You decided wasn’t worth it.

-mKalyan

One moment

Don’t miss an opportunity to pour love into someone’s life because you maybe the only person who will ever show them love again. I know in my case, I had a good friend who showed me love even when I didn’t deserve it. I miss her but she still gives me hope that someone will love me like that again. So just remember, if you get an opportunity to impact someone’s life. Take it. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

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“What’s Happiness?”

“What’s Happiness?”

It’s not here, that’s what it is.

Standing on top of the highest building overshadowing the city,

I glance beneath on the thousands of feet under

As I bit my lip,

I do not see this supposed happiness, anywhere.

Someone hammered this quote into my head:

“Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls.

The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.”

Now this stinging headache tells me that this planet is all it’s cracked up to be

That a bogus smile is plastered all over this planet.

And we should never let this pseudo merriment falter, or else.

Riddling whispers want to drag me back in to the concept that

True feelings and integrity is nothing but a myth, a sham, a con, a joke.

Those who believe otherwise in that missing ray of hope,

Shall be crushed and eaten by the foolish thought of it.

That fake smile is our line of defense.

Which is why I’m barely standing here in desperation

Searching for pure gaiety, maskless faces, untainted souls.

Instead all I see is conditioned bliss, beautiful facades, crooked smiles.

People everywhere held their broken hearts close,

Petrified for it to be shattered, disintegrated.

Seems strenuous to maintain a strong pulse.

That lonely girl at school, she could have been a rock star,

If not being poured of Law homework that discontinued her dream.

That geeky nerd could have enjoyed being outgoing,

If not for the constant bullying that zipped up his personality.

That old aged janitor could have spent the last of his years smiling,

If random acts of kindness like a simple “Hello” didn’t cease to exist,

But it’s too late now since he retired to the afterlife.

The ignored, belittled, discriminated could have tasted happiness,

If not for the gnawing looks from people who are “proper” and “normal”;

If the LGBTQIA aren’t treated as a bunch of diseased and confused pricks demanding for attention;

If the delicate souls with serious mental illnesses weren’t called crazy retarded twats;

If the different and gifted weren’t demeaned as weird queers and lunatics for expressing individuality.

Basically the “proper and normal” hold up their noses high while the “abnormal” hide in their shadows, in tears

Tired, no, afraid of being themselves.

What about the high nosed privileged category?

They don’t seem very content at their lives too.

Stress, expectation and work leech on them, sucking them dry.

They need to be studious for college scholarships,

They need to be diligent for their plate of potatoes,

They need to graft for their children’s shelter,

They need to endure for their parents’ sake,

They need to put on masks and choose the right emote

Hold their breathings and grit their teeth because they’re underlings

Yelling and puffing out steam at petty details because they’re superiors

A normal life is not a walk in the park it seems.

Nope, it’s not here.

I couldn’t find it.

Happiness turned into fairy tales leaving everybody sobbing in the dark.

I ache for people.

That leaves me wondering what if…

Just what if I slipped?

From this rooftop with this newfound courage to end it all?

Plenty of reasons feed this dangerous thought,

What’s life if living is all it’s cracked up to be?

Why can’t we know what happiness is without knowing what sadness is?

Why should we continue to coo ourselves with further lies?

When one step from this building edge could lead us to…

I stepped back and sighed.

I guess I’ll just keep on searching.

We lie

We say things we don’t mean
We act as though everything is fine
We divert attention away from us and hide behind false truths
We walk with our heads held high but cower with confrontation
We speak of joy and happiness
We lie

-Mkalyan

True happiness

Over the last couple of months, I have learned new life-long lessons

When I was younger, I never thought about serious things. I just thought that somehow my life would have no complications. I know, how naive. But I always thought that everything would be perfect in my life and I would always be happy. Now, I know how stupid those thoughts were, but I also know how everyone in this world wants a life that has no complications, no hurt, no suffering, no pain. I believe no matter how evil a person is, a person only wants happiness out of their life. But some people never find that happiness, which eventually leads the person to feel so empty and hopeless that they end up hurting themselves or others. It is truly sad to think that some people never find true happiness because they gave up. People give up because there is no meaning in life if you don’t find true happiness.

Comparative_Happiness

By true happiness, I don’t mean temporary happiness that money, sex, drugs, alcohol, or other things bring. I mean happiness that comes from simple things. Happiness that comes from loving someone so much that you would give up your life for them, or spending time with your family. Or being nice to someone. This will probably sound corny (heck, this whole thing is corny) but there is no words to describe the feeling you get when you do something good. To me, it is a blessing to experience true happiness. Everyone has different ideas of happiness, but once you experience true happiness, everyone gets the same feeling, which of course is happiness.

But the road to true happiness isn’t easy. At all. But as someone always said to me, the tough things in life make you stronger. During tough times, you certainly don’t think that way, but it’s true. When you look back at all the hard times in your life and how upset you were, I think all of us think to ourselves “Why was I so upset?” Whether you like it or not, the tough times in life are essential to finding true happiness.

But remember in the end, all the awful people in your life lead you to meeting the loved ones in your life. I hope everyone lives life to fullest and finds their true happiness.

Tuesday Morning

It’s 5:30 on a Tuesday morning, and I’ve left myself time to sit and think. I’ll think about the weather outside and if it’s storming. Because 20 feet under the ground you can’t even hear the thunder rolling.
I’ll think about the afternoon and wonder if you’re watching the sun rise. Sometimes being late has it’s beauty, just because I’ll see the morning sky in all it’s glory.
I’m not sad, but I won’t pretend to be happy
being here gives me a sense of melancholy happiness.
I’ll be alright, I’ll just smile and skip
because when you’re 20 feet underground there’s a lot of time to play around.

So Beautiful

I want to tell you that you are beautiful

But I don’t merely want these words heard

I want them felt by you

Because you should feel as beautiful as you are

It’s not just your eyes that make you beautiful (though they seem to always invite my awe-struck gaze)

And it’s not just your hair (though the strokes of light in each strand illuminate everything around you)

And it’s not just your smile (though it reminds me to enjoy life instead of focusing on the struggles it brings)

And it’s not just your voice (which will always, always sweep me away from my sorrows and draw me closer to an unexplained happiness)

Or even your hands (though they sing my tension to sleep when I get to hold them)

It’s your heart…what I feel from your heart is what makes you beautiful in my soul. And you are so,so beautiful… Not only in my eyes, but in my life…

Words that just came to me. I wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, but I began hearling cliche phrases in my head…and I thought to myself ” how meaningless is it to say things that people have been saying for centuries?”. I wanted to be different

Hopefully I was